The world revolves around men, and women always have to bend to live in it.
I learned young that as a woman, there are some unwritten rules about how we have to behave. Growing up, I see how my family always tells my sister to help my mom and aunts in a family event. She needs to help wash the dishes, plating the foods while the men just eats and chat. I never thought about it seriously because I thought that’s just how things work. But slowly, I realize that my family expects me to do the same once I’m of age. And this makes me notice how the world puts women in a system where they constantly expect each one of them to be the one who works in the background.
As I grew older, I recognized that house chores are not the only thing society expects us to excel at. The way I dress, the way I talk, the way I handle things are constantly monitored by people. You can’t wear shorts, you can’t wear a tight shirt, you can’t show your hair, you need to be more reserved, you’re showing too much emotions, you can’t do this, you can’t do that and so many more. Sometimes I wonder if this is what it should feel like to be a woman?
When we refuse to break down the expectations that society puts on us, people tend to criticize us for not bending to it. They asked us questions, making us feel guilty for being different, and most of the time it was a woman who took the role of the “police”.
Society has these incredibly unreal expectations for a woman to be composed, polite, considerate, caring, and all of the things that our parents spoon fed us since we were little. If you’re complaining well its a shame—you still had to do it anyway. The society that we live in (strengthened by capitalism of course) is making new insecurities every fucking time. Your skin needs to be flawless, you need to be poreless, you can’t have leg hair, your lipstick is too red, your makeup is too bold, your cheeks are too fake, the clothes don’t fit you, and the list goes on and on and on. Ugh, this system makes us believe that what we have, what God makes us will never be enough except we sculptured it ourselves. This system makes girls believe that they need to bend and not break because of it. It taught us to stay in the little box that they labelled women and mad if we’re not fit into it.
Our parents, our teachers, our friends, the men, even our fellow women are taking a role in making this system stand strong and survive. This hellish beauty standard (that frankly full of bullshit) is what the patriarchy wants us to be. They want us to dress up and act like a doll. They don’t consider us human so when a woman speaks up about this, they’re most likely called a rebel, just for simply wanting to be herself.
This crazy system has been allowed and normalized for far too long that we sometimes forget that we’re being used by it. We need to stop making it normal for a girl suffering to feel fit into the standard the society has built. Younger girls need someone that can tell them that they don’t have to follow the path the society has carved. They’re allowed to be whoever they want to be. We’re allowed to be whoever we want to be.
Ditulis oleh Farras Nailatusy
Diedit oleh Diandra Wafiyatunnisa
Didesain oleh Laya Nayswa Az Zahra
